Monthly Archives: April 2012

Emos & Nemos

The world has been divided into so many different aspects that it is actually quite difficult to keep a count of it now. There are geographical divides, socio-graphical ones, economic, religious, color, and many more. Then there are further subdivisions in all of them. An easy example would be various religions, or even religion or no religion for that matter. Today I wanted to bring your attention to another divide. This divide has been amongst us since day one, but not many of us has seen or contemplated its existence. I might some day, am still trying. So pointing out a new divide might be a good experiment. But then how many people actually read my blog, I am sure it wouldn’t hurt much.

So the divide that I am going to be discussing today is very simple. There are people who are emotional and then there are those who are not. I shall call them “Emo” and “Nemo” hereafter. Before getting into the details of why did I feel the need of even exploring this domain, I think I need to analyze myself a bit first. May be I will just trash this document and never publish it after I have done my personal analysis. So if you are reading it, you should know that I did find it worth publishing somehow. So am I an Emo, or a Nemo. Well, I usually don’t always think about the science of things all the time. Yes I do have a lot of interest in their origin/mechanism/objectives, but I really don’t care if pizzas were baked in a charcoal oven or a gas one [E0-N0] (I think it’s a tie). Sometimes I walk on the beach, thinking if I keep walking along it, will I travel all the world and come back to this same point ever again, [E1-N0], I doubt if any jet packs are readily available in hyper marts, and it obviously is a very rhetorical desire. I love chocolates [E2-N0]. I think reproduction is a brilliant phenomenon even if it is not one of your own child which is coming to the world [E2-N1]. Using the word “child” instead of “baby” is definitely a big Nemo. I think I have cried probably 3-4 times in last 8 years [E2-N2], although it deserves double score for Nemo. I never drank when I am depressed [E2-N3]. I never cried over any of my past relationships after the breakup [E2-N4]. I don’t think Notebook is a very good movie [E2-N5]. I hate to console with people at the funerals [E2-N6]. Writing this article, [E999999e – N6].

Hence proved that I am an Emo, and quite recently I have figured that quality out. Someone even said that I am very sad which, again is a very major point in the Emo scoring. Nemos usually do not get very sad, but that’s what they think. Or should I say they have a very good talent of hiding their Emos. Whereas Emos are bad Nemos, when it comes to pretending, until or unless they are cornered. Emos can be dangerous to mingle with because they usually have a lot of baggage. But this doesn’t mean that Nemos don’t have baggage. It is just that the baggage of an Emo is a little too fragile, where as Nemo’s baggage is usually cushioned and hard packed without a tag of “handle with care” on it. Now I am not implying that either of them are good or bad people. All I am saying is that their handling could be different from each other.

Since I have already accepted that I am an Emo (although not many people in my circle of friends believe that), so I won’t be discussing Emos in a detail. I know how they are and again I will reinforce; not every Emo deals with their baggage the same way. So if you think you are an Emo, you do not necessarily score the same as mine in all the possible attributes attached to this divide.

The thought just struck my mind, why the hell I am even writing this, what the hell I am trying to prove here, Emos or Nemos, doesn’t matter who is better. So I gave myself a justification for writing this. How do Emos and Nemos communicate with each other and with the ones who belong to the same sect?

Emos to Emos:

It is essential that we do establish here that Emos usually do not think through, and most of the time they are not using their brains for any given situation at hand. This syndrome is abundantly present in the women. Men do have it too, but they usually try to cover it up or at least that’s what they think they are doing. But this little portion of the whole Emo sect who thinks they are good with covering it up does not fall under the category of Nemos at all. They are Emos and they like to be perceived that way, they are just not very comfortable in their own skin. Primarily because of several reasons, society and peer pressure for starter.

So when Emos are establishing any kind of communication be it professional, personal or irrelevant (Emos like to talk to strangers at times). Emos are usually focused on to the choice of words the other person is using, they do observe the surroundings, they have a very observant eye and they usually are maintaining a score card like hall of fame in their head. I wouldn’t say that they are judgmental all the time, because my last sentence might be interpreted as if I am implying that. But being judgmental or not has nothing to do with Emo or Nemo, it is an equally shared quality of both the sects. So while Emo is communicating with another Emo, the score card is maintained on both ends. An Emo can easily sniff another Emo and they usually become guarded immediately, unless they themselves are in denial that they are an Emo. The key here would be to give as minimal data to the other party as you can, without being unfair, because the other party is also an Emo and like I said, quite observant and may become guarded too, which will lead to nothing at the end of the day. Two Emos can peacefully live together under the same roof as long as there is no clash of basic emotional requirements. If both needed attention, we are looking at a catastrophe in near future.

Nemo to Nemo:

Nemos are usually headstrong; they do not usually listen to the other person’s point of view. They love to talk, and love to be listened. Since the ratio of women in this sect is very minimal so this communication is usually holding between two men. Now it could be professional, and it could be personal too. The funniest one would be when they are discussing emotions and the awkward one would be when they are discussing emotional attachment between themselves. Nemos are usually space conscious; they are very protective about their personal space. They are usually not very vocal about it. They usually assume the other person should identify it by themselves. Reason being that since they think they are very realistic and practical, and this reason combined with the “not listening much to others” makes them think that the other person should know this by default.

Some Nemos are better than the others, but I am not saying that any Nemo is better than Emo or any Emo is better than Nemo. I reinforce, they all have baggage. Since the Nemos are usually guarded and when two of them are communicating at any level, they most likely are relaying a half duplex communication. It is very hard for anyone of them to establish any conclusive argument if they are working against each other. However they are one hell of a pair if they are working together. Yes, of course there could be a clash of titans, which may lead them to a farce ending, but if intelligently handled (which they think they are) some desirably lucrative results can be achieved.

Two Nemos be it two men, two women or one man and one woman living together under the same roof requires a lot of muscle and brass. But like I have already said, that if they start working against each other (which usually is an unavoidable situation in a relationship), it could cause a lot of damage. However since they are the practical and realistic ones, they can easily find a peaceful, non destructive and sometimes even a constructive way forward. Don’t be surprised if you find that peace offering made in a PowerPoint slide show. At the end of the day, it is not how you reached a closure, what is important is that no one got hurt. Nemos usually do not get hurt, or that’s what they like to tell themselves.

Emos to Nemos or vice versa:

Now here is my favorite one. Several physics laws such as gravity, force, electricity, polarization, magnetism and what not, do specify that this dichotomy is phenomenal and usually produces great results. Commonly known as: “Opposites attract”. This is an ancient phenomenon and well proved over the laws of nature. But this phenomenon was derived by the people who were majorly Nemos and didn’t have much experience in human relationships; there still is a chance for us to pragmatically re-analyze it for current times over human behaviors.

Emos usually are demanding when it comes to attention, Nemos can’t give much. Nemos are usually space conscious but Emos not necessarily understand that need of Nemos but on the other hand Emos along with their baggage may also require space, which could be a good combo for both of them. Nemos usually think that they have their own intellectual collection of vernaculars and they might find a lot of pride in showing that off to Emos. Emos in return might find that satisfactory that their listening powers are fulfilling Nemos desire of being heard.

As described in the start of this blog, there are certain Nemos who are good with pretending to be Emos for a while but at the back of their mind they are always standing guarded and the moment they feel threatened they go back into their Nemo mode and shut all the doors behind. Emos on the other hand are either behind the door, or they are out in the open. They find it hard to adapt into various situations and contemplate. If caught red handed being in disguise they will not run back to their guarded doors.

Now these two creatures are quite unique and possess very different attributes. This could cause a huge friction amongst them but on the other hand if quarantined and applied properly can produce great results. It is like fuel and air. Given fire, they will explode. Without air, fuel won’t burn, and without fuel, air will only blow. Now explosion has rhetorically very negative connotation. However, the energy obtained from this explosion of fuel and air if channelized properly is sufficient enough to keep the engine running, and then as they say, sky is the limit.

A whole book can be written upon this divide, but my objective here was just to establish that there is a divide and that does affect on the lives of a lot of us. It is always good to think, it is always good to preempt possible irregularities and it is always good to rationalize. Since I gave myself in by saying that I am an Emo, I do not condemn being Nemo, so if you are a Nemo and you think I went wrong somewhere, you might be correct. Like I said my objective was just to point out this divide. So if you think you can point out any of my irrational statement, I will highly appreciate if you send me in your observation, because that will also help me with my understandings of both the parties.