Monthly Archives: December 2011

A single happy guy is…

Starting a new blog is always very difficult especially when the reason to start a new blog is entirely new for you. Yes I am a single happy guy but that isn’t exactly what that literally means. Why do we all assume that being single mean that you don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Singularity can be something else as well. Happy does not mean that someone is smiling or gay for that matter. It may have other contexts of it as well. I am not sure if I will ever be able to explain the reason why I kept “asinglehappyguy” as my blog title. All I know that I really wanted a platform where I could write down the experiences of my life. A life that has recently taken a huge turn and it almost feels like I have rebooted myself.

In our society where we live, guys are usually never marginalized. They get what they want until or unless they demand for something which isn’t exactly what the norms of the society are. This is usually in the case of a hetro man, if he is alpha, its even better. Their mothers get them the best piece of chicken when they are kids, and get them the best chick of the town when they are good enough for her. He lives all his life like a king, gets what he wants, wear what he wants, go wherever he feels like, do whatever he feels like. But the day he is ready to pick a girl for the rest of his life, the problem occurs. The parents who let that guy live all his life choosing whatever he likes, does not allow him to pick a girl to spend the rest of his life. Its sounds even more evil when the parents have hardly 10 to 20 years left in their lives and the guy still have a lot more to live. It sounds like as if the parents were investing all their lives over that kid so just that he should pick a girl for his life by their choice. Sounds ridiculous! People usually do not take chances and listen to their parents because they think that all those attentions that they have received during their entire life was the love of their parents and that they should not betray them. Whereas, that attention was the duty of the parents. So how beautifully they have converted the duty of their life to an investment. An investment whose benefits are nothing but just a self satisfaction that their kids are very obedient. And even if they do agree to pick the girl from the boy’s choice, somewhere deep down they will have the grudge against the kid which in turn comes out on the girl whom they brought home. But since mostly the guys who had never been marginalized during their entire life, feels no need to betray the alleged love of their parents.

On the contrary, the girls are always marginalized. Be it their studies, be it choosing friends or be it choosing a life partner. This marginalization always make them strong and more adjustable to the situation. In father’s house they are always asked to live up to the expectations of the parents. In their in laws they are always expected to live up to the expectation of the husband. Later after they become mothers, they do the same to their kids, sometimes to take out all those frustrations they have suffered all their lives or sometimes they start taking this as the norm of life and that they should keep the convention alive.

The case of a homosexual guy is even worse. They are expected to live a life they do not belong to. They are expected to act the way any hetro guy does. First 10 to 15 years they usually don’t even know that they are different from anyone. So the personality building is usually handicapped by those amount of years. When they figure out their sexuality they are already in that stage of life where they are expected to start seeing a girl. If they do, they do get very successful in getting along with the girls, for obvious reason that the girls usually don’t feel threatened by this breed. These guys usually are very emotional, sentimental and caring. Girls usually like that property of guys. But the problem occurs usually when things get on to a next level, i.e., getting physical. On every stage of their life they are marginalized. The biggest problem of their life is to keep their orientation hidden. Which is not in the case of any hetro guy or a hetro girl.

The reason I specified these states of different people is to draw a conclusion here. And my conclusion can always be different from yours. You might have a very different theory about it, and I will respect that if you do. So what I feel from all these norm of our society or any other society for that matter, the marginalization in one’s life always play a very important role in making them a person whom they are. I have usually seen guys who are homosexuals and have faced a lot of criticism in their lives have become really great people. People who stand for something. People who have some substance. People who have lived the life of a person who is being questioned. These are usually the people who question life in return. I hardly have seen guys who are hetro and they do question life. They are usually go with the flow kind of people, and remind you, only dead fish go with the flow.

Same goes for the girls, they have either gave in to the life, or otherwise they are headstrong. I have seen most of these woman struggling for their lives to live them the way they want to, to be standing single in their lives. Either their family life is messed up or their love life. I have yet to come across a girl who did what she wanted to do in her life and is equally happy in her family/love life.

I am a single happy guy. I have seen almost all the catastrophes of life. You name it and I can tell you the repercussion of that particular catastrophe. I have given up on a lot of things to stand where I am standing right now. I had to sacrifice a lot of things to live the life I wanted to live. Yes it isn’t yet the ideal situation but then who gets the ideal situation anyway. As they say we all have choices at any given time, but we should always make the choices that we can live with.